Consensual
For the man who asked if I condoned paedophilia
because I support homosexuality
So I’d offer you my hand,
but before you grasp my skin
You’ll probably want to know
where my fingers have been
My hands show I’m a cellist, a wife, a writer
but there are no clear signs
of every queer all-nighter
Here I am…so married, so feminine, so straight?
There you are so hardened by your bigoted hate
I would apologise
but you’d resent my tongue and lips
To know how I adore the coastline
from breast to hip
But my past is not the force
behind my fighting words
I write and speak this way
for those who don’t get heard.
Daily Mail Order Bride
I think I was the only Guardian reader in history
to marry someone who read The Daily Mail
& I’d think maybe it’s ironic
& at least it isn’t The Sun
Besides, we all like being the intelligent one
We’d be in bed with my arms thus spread
as wide as my mind and heart
You’d be beside with your paper tight
like your wallet and your pride
I was the perfect trophy wife
All blowjob proof lipstick and self-sacrifice
I think you almost knew that I could write
but you didn’t quite grasp that words were my whole life
I’ve wondered, if I write about you
does that mean you ever mattered?
Or that our brief portrait
was anything but lust splattered?
No-one ever really knew
how someone with my MENSA IQ
could ever even fuck the likes of you
I taught you about the hidden gender
new moves
and new words
You taught me through silent imprisonment
the importance of being heard
So Your Wife
So your wife hates my lips
She reads fellatio
Pictures the swell of your dick
She can’t lip read, she doesn’t know the truth
I put my lips to a much better use
Weaving words to inspire, encourage, delight
To chase out the shadows that haunt you at night
It’s words that I give you
a different relief
Yet, she’s searching for semen
in the glint of my teeth
So your wife hates my hands
The caress of a masseuse
Is all she understands
She’s no musician, she doesn’t know the truth
It’s my fingertips that get the most use
That these thick pads, calloused and raw
Show devotion to the instrument
that makes my heart soar
That my nimble fingers and strong hands
Please you as an artist
and not as a man
So your wife hates my pins
She reads seduction
In my barely keeping it in
She can’t see, she doesn’t know the truth
The way I dress is mania put to good use
My lack of boundaries, my style liberated
Simply means I haven’t been medicated
Matching mental disorders, a different connection
I see understanding
She sees attraction
So your wife hates my youth
I’m not even that young
But I’m younger than you
And she’s even longer in the tooth
She can’t see, she doesn’t know the truth
That my life experience has been put to good use
I’ve lived enough life for six
It’s wisdom I offer, not perky tits
It’s insight I give you, and intellect
She sees firm curves
and marriages wrecked
So.. I hate your wife
She’s taken you from you
and withdrawn you from my life
She can’t see, she doesn’t know the truth
That I only ever wanted
What was best for you
You see a person with depth, light and shade
She sees a slut who’s out to get laid
She doesn’t see
That the biggest threat of all
Is that I’ve got you by the soul
and not by the balls
******
***Holly Daffurn is an author and a poet. Her debut poetry collection is out next spring and she is currently working on a collection of pregnancy and birthing non-fiction titles for ecological publishing house Green Books. She is a passionate artist on the spoken word scene with a loyalty to Birmingham (her poetic home if not her literal one). Her work includes political pieces such as ‘For Russia with Love’ a performance poem that addresses sexuality and the situation in Russia. This piece was commissioned to be made into a film poem by CAGED Arts as part of The React Poetry Project (An O2 Think Big Project). As well as attracting international attention (including support from a number of Russian LGBT groups) this film poem was also shown at ‘We’re Here’ a queer film screening and art exhibition as part of Brighton Pride 2015.
Most recently Holly was commissioned by the UK’s leading spoken word organisation Apples & Snakes to write and record a podcast on the theme of ‘Heritage’. The resulting broadcast features a collection of poems especially written for the commission as well as Holly’s insight and candid no-holds barred discussion on inherited mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. This piece has been very well-received including commendation from Ruby Wax’s mental health organisation SANE.
Her work varies from tight rhymes, rapidly changing rhythms and a pleasing mixture of sass and wit to deeply intimate and bleak portraits that are raw in their intimacy. Holly is immensely passionate about giving young people the confidence, skills and incentive to use words to break down barriers, dissolve stigma, express themselves and as a cathartic practice. She has started running workshops that offer young people the space, opportunity and support to get their voices heard.***
To learn more about Holly or see her work, visit these web sites:
Here is a video poem of a piece I wrote about sexuality and
the situation in Russia:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri0YmdApozE
Here is a video of So Your Wife:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebioIDNyqus
You can find my Apples & Snakes podcast here:
http://applesandsnakesblog.org/blog/sketches-from-both-sides-of-the-sky-by-holly-daffurn
My website is here:
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