How Lonely – I’m Never Alone – by CRYSTAL SNODDON

How Lonely – I’m Never Alone

 

Black bearded, black top-hatted, green scaly-faced

ringleader of this Big Top in my brain, circus of the

bizarre licks my cheek and I awake in fear-induced

shudder … sc

               rea

                    ming – lions and tigers pacing, back and

forth, back and forth, muttering clown with frown upside

down laughs and laughs until the landlady bangs on the

floor, shut the fuck up! I heeear you… Calvin, go for

a walk! And the monkey dances, screeches Shit shit

I sing them away, soft, then louder, it begins again

 a cold sweat. Another day of roaring chant inside

   beating my brains to pulp, try walking outside

    people staring, staring- Hey, ogle-eyes wide

      your white skull is showing me the way I

         need to go drown in a bathtub of gin,

          never too early to – shut up, Ma –

      you are dead, get out of my; ya

         another double. Now. Cash?

           What the hell- hey, cop! A

             little birdie told me you

                   suck, he said so, now

                yeah. In my head! I

                  heard him! Stop!

              don’t close the

                    door, come

                      back, oh

                        alone

                        God

                         No

                          I

                          .

                          .

                          .


***

Jefferson and Grampa Bday 094

Crystal Snoddon is a fledgling writer from the frozen North (Northern Canada), who loves all things word related, wakes far too early in the morning to be a party animal and has a serious lust for poetry.:)

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