Poems- by Prerna Bakshi

What’s the name of your pind?

(First published in The Ofi Press)

 

He asks me which pind

do I belong to?

Confused, I respond by telling him

the names of my grandfather’s and grandmother’s village.

He interjects, her’s not necessary. Your belonging, your identity, your pind is traced through the

pind of your father and his father and so on, you see.

I say nothing, and just nod.

In the blink of an eye, my grandmother’s history was deemed irrelevant. Erased.

History belongs to victors, they say.

Clearly, she had lost.

Her past, torn

like it was an unwanted page from the book of history.

Her clung together memories

got flushed down the toilet like a clump of hair stuck in the comb.

What is her pind, then?

What is her home country?

Or is she a traveling soul?

A wandering Sufi?

An escaped soldier?

An absconded convict?

A fugitive?

A refugee?

If she had no home to claim as her own,

which borders did she cross then?

To what extent did she even cross any, if at all?

What was her supposed ‘home’?

Or was there even any?

 

 

Visiting Kolkata after 15 years

(First published in Cafe Dissensus)

 

Kantha saris.

Macchi markets.

Tangy puchkas.

Yellow taxis.

Pulled rickshaws.

Trams.

Old Victorian buildings.

Goddess Durga’s pamphlets plastered on the walls.

Mosaics and murals all around.

Everything looks the same

since I last visited.

Including the hammer and sickle

graffiti on the walls – faded or

turned brighter red instead…

not sure.

 

 

picture.jpg

Prerna Bakshi is a writer, poet and activist. She is the author of the recently released book, Burnt Rotis, With Love, which was long-listed for the 2015 Erbacce-Press Poetry Award in the UK. Her work has been published widely, most recently in The Ofi Press, Red Wedge Magazine, TRIVIA: Voices of Feminism and Peril magazine: Asian-Australian Arts & Culture, as well as anthologized in several collections. More here – http://prernabakshi.strikingly.com/

 

Advertisements

Poems- Yuan Changming

The Inner Journey

Legs crossed

Sitting straight

Still in chan meditation

Upon a lotus flower

Newly blossoming on my inner pond

I perceive myself transforming

Slowly but steadily

From a monstrous yellow-skinned frog

Into an ever bigger, brighter Buddha

Until my whole being inside out

Bursts into trillions of individual cells

Each being an other self of mine

Like a star beyond the skyline

Blinking, whispering

As if all chanting in unison

In a universal prayer

For harmony

 

Snorting over the Clouds

Flying between sea and sky

Between day and night

Amid heavenly or oceanic blue

I lost all my references

To any timed space

Or a localized time

Except the non-stop snorting

Of a stranger neighbour

Then, beyond the snorts rising here

And more glooming there

I see tigers, lions, leopards

Together with many hanger-throated gods

Darting out of every passenger’s heart

Running amuck around us

As if released from a huge cage

As if in a dreamland

 

Time vs Space

Divided into narrow cars

Time is where

All men and women

Get on or off

As the train keeps

Running forward

Along the rails of

An endless space

Except one butterfly that can fly

Freely from one car to another

 

Overtaking

An anchored lamborghini first

Then a line of taxis

And finally several big buses

In this one way road

Have I been driving all the way

Only to find a dead end

Here and now?

 

Along Our Journey to the West

Let us take all the long time we need

To wake up from our overdue dreams

Get out of the bed, and stretch our

Limbs as far as possible for a new morning

Let us take all the long time we need

To listen to the first song of the birds

Watch the rise of this summer sun, feel

The breeze combing each tree with tenderness

Let us take all the long time we need

To enjoy being together with our beloved

Exchange a smile so that they can stay with

Us just a few seconds or even minutes longer

Yes, let’s take all the long time we need

To drink this tea, to chat about this weather

To look back at the road we have travelled along

To think, to cry, and to die in lingering twilight

 

Stopping Awhile During My Journey of Life

How I hate jogging every morning

As mechanically as a robot, eating

Vegetables only like a damned pig

Taking more pills than a patient, avoiding

Fat, salt and sugar as if they were real poisons

Brushing my teeth twice a day, and doing

All kinds of stupidities right against my will

Just to live a few days longer or, to be more

Exactly, to turn a bit more food into waste

Like a stinking shit-making machine! Indeed

How I am tired of living such a life that is never

Enjoyable! Is this daily examined life

Of mine really worth living at all?

 

IMG_1799.JPG

Yuan Changming, 9-time Pushcart nominee and author of 7 chapbooks (including Wordscaping [2016]), published monographs on translation before moving out of China. With a PhD in English, Yuan currently edits Poetry Pacific with Allen Yuan in Vancouver, and has poetry appearing in Best Canadian PoetryBestNewPoemsOnline, Threepenny Review and 1209 others across 38 countries.

This Life- by Jeffrey Zable

This Life

by Jeffrey Zable

The problem with it is that too many things can go wrong

when you least expect it, from a gust of wind blowing a wasp

into your mouth while you’re on your way to the market

to buy a loaf of bread, to tripping on a three-quarter inch

sliver of poodle shit that an elderly lady missed because her eyesight

is no longer what it used to be. It’s a precarious journey any way

you look at it and even though the safest place to be is probably in bed,

there is always the possibility you could turn the wrong way,

fall to the floor and crack open your skull,

wind up in the hospital with bills that your insurance company

refuses to pay because it was your own damn fault—

like being born in the first place. . .

 

The Maiden’s Lament- by Randel McCraw

The Maiden’s Lament

Heterosexual, employed, and not too weird—

Is that too much to ask? Isn’t there someone,

Somewhere, who just wants a wife and kids?

Let me tell you about my last few dates.

First, a guy who asked me to keep his dog

While he went to visit his former wife.

Looking back, that’s not so bad compared to

The one who wanted pictures of me nude,

Gagged, with a turkey sausage up my ass.

Or the one who wanted a threesome, with me

And his Burmese python. I said no thanks.

Or the one who wanted me to dress up

As a Franciscan nun, and spank him hard.

Best of all, the one who asked me to join

His commune, and seventeen other wives.

If you’re a normal guy with a tongue, call me.  Please.

 

Randel McCraw Helms retired from the English Department at Arizona State University in 2007, having taught classes in the Romantic poets, the Bible as Literature and contemporary literature there for thirty years.  He is the author of five books of literary criticism, including “Tolkien’s World,” “Who Wrote the Gospels?” and “Gospel Fictions.”

Making poems is his lifelong avocation, and now he has time to write them as much as he wants. He is preparing a book of poems to be entitled “Matters of Life and Death.”

Poems- by Stephen Mead

Detonations

Whale at a submarine—-

Dear deep mariner, what do you hear?

Is it people milling about, snoring bunkmates or

busy machinery, the beeping meter’s pop?

If you can, to that porthole, put an eye, look around.

Are you interested?  Does it make sense?

How I wish I could read your thoughts, become some medium

in order to understand all this complexity going on.

These beings aren’t puppets, are they?

And their consoles have a purpose—-

Exploration, correct?

So what’s shooting forth?

Whoosh, such a fathomable

propellant, such a beautiful

bombshell whizzing through foam, schools  of fish, strips

of plankton to hit some, some——

What

is it

just child’s play

with the weight of earth

oceanic

suddenly on backs?

How

to stomach, digest, breathe

belly upward?

Meanwhile, in some desert, for research, another device

goes off.

 

Circle Of Poison

This is mercury.  This—-

flesh, flesh in the water—-

children, cattle, washerwomen—-

Something to clean, drink, make

bodies rafts

moving through

moving through…

How’s it taste?  Smell?  Better re-

settle.  Don’t tell

the press what’s common

knowledge  hereabouts.

Here, about right here

the dumping took place

& the burial

turning

up   up

in many ailments

unexplained

in a lot of food

imported back.

 

The Aesthetics of Brutality

Last night when this floor bristled with boot soles

I thought of El Greco’s martyrs

With all perspective pushed forth.

That’s how it felt, foreshortening inversed,

Extreme, no depth to the siege.

We hadn’t done anything, but try and tell

These soldiers that.  No comprehendo.

Pretend this fear is surreal.  Better cooperate.

Once I saw a film of WW II bombers dropping

Their missiles the way certain insects lay eggs.

After the reels ceased spinning and the lights

Came back on, people grabbed their coats, left

In silence, filled with an eerie apprehension

Of the point where war is mundane.

As blank and able to be killed, we are business to be

Taken care of.  No, this round up, of course,

Isn’t personal, except as a symbolic gesture:

The old crippled Jew shot, his wheelchair glittering

Down to the seas…

Later, in the press pics, perspective will

Get shoved back to its carved rightful place:

An angel’s wail from El Dorado, the torn city of tanks

 

Nightmare 4 A.M.

Are screams in sleep audible?

Then, dreaming a terrorist, his

shadow, hunched, gun, ready, his

ski mask a kind of bandage

for The Invisible Man——-

Suddenly it fills everything.

Eyes gape, are mechanisms, the

pupils, two slots, remote, blank,

registering a face of

deliberation extreme.

They widen, absorb sights,

a black hole’s consumption

magnified as sound.

Waking, the body shudders,

jarred as if by a rifle

striking the head from

behind.

Windows greet stars, blinds

streaming light, brilliance,

a vestige, clean, nearly

spirituous, after

violence takes leave.

 

Nuclear Diary   (Thanks to Andre Carothers)

I light a cigarette,

little tobacco tube,

strange squared-off phallus.

Smoke stacks too, only without

smoke, in the distance, rise.

The flats leading to them

should all be mahogany.

Flats-

here a wheat field, there

an oat, the tall stalks

which might gleam,

the steams, the soil

alive with a silent

tick tick tick.

Most citizens left sense it.

How could they not?

The houses of photographs,

fabrics, flesh

busy with signals, the amok

transparent termites

waving cell-like from eyes,

from milk into bottles,

bottles to mouths…

White sound & bravery badges,

banner smiles & too aware faces

with rarely enough money

to get away, convince

a government chlorine burns

more than it cleans.

How angry, how fed up

can patient waiting turn?

How despairing, how atomic

when living in levels

science, coerced, swears

are not harmful, not as much

as thought?

Not as harmful say,

as a bullet that’s left

the gun.

One’s wound just overreacts.

One’s blood should just

stop bleeding.

One’s children

should get down from towers,

find beds hidden away,

let tongues, diseased,

quiet on waves.

Sea pleats, field sheets,

nature’s grand green,

the design of peace

finds a ship, finds

a rig & a plant-

1,2,3: test

4,5,6: dump

7,8,9: bury.

I put out my cig, & finger

the sweet pistil of a lily

in the passing window of this train.

 

self with soldier on to the future closer smaller.jpg

A resident of NY, Stephen Mead is a published artist, writer, maker of short-collage
films and sound-collage downloads. His latest P.O.D. amazon release is an art-text
hybrid, “According to the Order of Nature (We too are Cosmos Made)”, a work which
takes to task the words which have been used against LGBT folks from time
immemorial.  In 2014 he began a webpage to gather links of his poetry being
published in such zines as Great Works, Unlikely Stories, Quill & Parchment, etc., in
one place:  Poetry on the Line, Stephen Mead

Poems- by Soodabeh Saeidnia

A Sun in a Puddle

The day before yesterday

A glorious bright yellow sun

tiptoed on the sleepy horizon

and fell into a turbid puddle

The puddle wondered

if it’s going to dawn again

Yesterday

A puddle swallowed

a dismissing sun

and started to blaze

to laser-cut the eyes

who was wondering if

it’s going to dawn again

Today

How dreary a sunburnt sun

slipped into a greedy puddle

and wept until we all

cried and wondered

if it’s going to dawn again

Tomorrow

People say a wounded sun

is going to be executed

inside a puddle

and we all know that

it’s not going to dawn again

The day after tomorrow

May a sunny puddle

bleed to die or distill to dry

May a reborn sun

go up the ladder of the sky

and never set in a nefarious puddle

 

Wall

I am a wall and I am not

I was made of data bricks. I was never built up

I never had the windows. I had a window

with a bitten apple on it, opened toward another wall

I was a female wall and I was not

I was never male nor female

nor did I have any sexual affinity

I belonged to a writer. I did not belong to anybody

I was a wall right on the borders

between understanding and doubting

between the Exons and Introns of a DNA

when it goes to be copied in the body

and Introns must be removed by splicing

during the maturation of the RNAs

I was the interpretation of those borders

The ancestors needed a reason for boundaries

I was that reason in lack of the science but

I am not a reason for any border-walls

in the third millennium proposed by

anybody even you Mr. Trump

 

I was a wall built for segregation

in between prisoners and freemen,

the eastern and western towns, the northern

and southern countries, Jews and Muslims

I was always a wall. I used to be a wall

in need of an opened window

toward an apple garden. I hate the walls

I never hate anything or anybody except a wall  

*Published in a British literary journal: “I am not a Silent Poet” March 2016

 

 

Touch of a Butterfly

Every night, in my dreams

I see you can’t fly like a mosquito

trapped in a spider web

and I always come forth

to catch you

and throw you deep in my dungeon

A dungeon made by accumulated revenges

by rusted rods of unfairness

and dirty bricks of rage

by disgusting mosses of old

unforgettable mistakes

but always a butterfly comes

and lands on my shoulder

and wakes me up

 

Anonymous

I wasn’t there

I wasn’t anywhere

Once, a sound whispered my name

My name woke up but found itself

beyond me and living on a poor planet

so left me behind

The sound and my name merged

into an echo, traveled

and passed through the space

Then, the space bent toward the time

For that, the echo is still spreading

while I am living on Earth, an anonymous

whose time is running out

 

Untitled.jpg

Soodabeh Saeidnia was born in Iran (1973) and received her Pharm.D. (1997) from Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Sciences, and also Ph.D. of Pharmacognosy (2002) from Tehran University of Medical Sciences (TUMS), Iran. She has worked as Visiting Researcher and awarded a Foreign Researcher Fellowship to work as a Research Associate both in Kyoto University, Japan (2002-2003 and 2005-2006), as well as Assistant and Associate Professor at TUMS (2007-2015) and Visiting Professor at Saskatchewan University, Canada (2013-2014). She has written roughly 150 scientific papers for various academic journals, as well as academic books and book chapters in both English and Farsi.

She is also interested in English literature and poetry, and has published a collection of her poems, Harfhaee- Baraye- Khodam (Words for myself), in the Farsi language. Now, Soodabeh is living in New York and her poems have been published (or a head of publishing) in the American magazines and literary journals including Squawk Back, Sisyphus Quarterly, Paradox, TimBookTu, Bobbling of the Irrational, SPINE, American Writers Journal, Tuck Magazine, La Libertad, Tiny Poetry, Indiana Voice Journal, The Pen, 352 degrees and the Great Weather for Media. A number of her poems have been printed in the books Where the Mind Dwells and American Poet by Eber & Wein Publishing as well as Moonlight Dreamers of Yellow Haze by Johnson Publications and Artistic. Her newest books, Street of the Ginkgo Trees and Voice of Monarch Butterflies are now available online on Amazon.

 

 

THE BOX- by Don Tassone

The Box

by Don Tassone

He was on his way home from baseball practice when he spotted it between the Asher’s garbage cans and the curb. It was a wooden box, about two feet long, a foot and a half wide and a foot and a half deep.  It had a brass handle on top, two brass latches on the front and three brass hinges on the back.

The boy skidded to a stop and and hopped off his bike for a closer look.  Squatting down, he flipped up the latches and pulled back the lid. There was nothing inside except for a sheet of mottled, yellowed paper along the bottom.  He closed the lid, refastened the latches and picked it up by the handle.  It was heavy.

He’d been looking for a box to store some of his stuff.  This one might do nicely, he thought. The boy rode his bike home and walked back down the street to the Asher’s.  He felt a little funny taking it.  But there it was, out on the curb on garbage night.  Free game.  He grabbed the box and carried it home.

“What do you have there, Bobby?” his mother asked, as he lugged it through the back door.

“Just a box,” he said, setting it down on the braided, wool rug in the center of the family room.

“Where’d you get it?”

“I found it out with the Asher’s garbage.”

“And you want to keep it?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I want to put my stuff in it.”

“What stuff?”

“My important stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like my ball glove and my baseball cards.  You know, my important stuff.”

“Let me have a look,” his mother said, squinting her eyes and kneeling down beside it.  Bobby got down on one knee next to her and opened it.  His mother peeked inside.

“It’s dirty.  If you want to keep this, you’re going to have to clean it first.”

“Okay, Mom.  What should I use?”

“Well, that looks like pretty good wood.  Walnut, I think.  I’ve got some wood soap.  You can use that.”

Bobby ripped the dingy paper from the bottom and scraped off several spots of crusty glue with a putty knife.  Then he scrubbed the box inside and out.  He even found some brass polish in the garage to shine up the fixtures.

His mother bought some blue felt to line the inside of the box.  She helped him measure it, cut it and glue it to the bottom and the sides.  His father applied a coat of varnish to the outside.  Bobby was thrilled to see the wavy grain of the wood come to life.

Then he began gathering his treasures and carefully placing them inside.  Beyond his ball glove and baseball cards, he put in his coin collection; a red, scale-model 1939 Chevy; a metal Band-Aid box with $7.26; a cast-iron cap gun; a Hershey bar; his Cub Scout handbook; his First Communion rosary; a geode he had found in Mammoth Cave; and a penny postcard his cousin Bill had mailed him from California.

Bobby’s dad was a printer.  He made him a sticker for his new box that read:  “Bobby’s Most Important Things.”  Bobby happily affixed it to the top. As he got older, the box got crowded, filling up with trophies and yearbooks.  Bobby had to constantly rearrange things to get them to fit.

He tried to wedge in his mortar board and diploma from his high school graduation, but they just wouldn’t fit.  So he jettisoned his baseball cards. When he got married, he brought the box with him.  He needed room for special gifts from his wife.  So his cap gun and coin collection had to go.

Once he started a family, he had to lose his old ball glove and the Chevy to make room for his kids’ drawings and birthday and Father’s Day cards. He kept all his children’s high school and college graduation programs.  So his own diplomas had to go.

When he retired, he gave up his high school yearbooks to create a slot for a hefty plaque from his company. When his first granddaughter was born, he carved out a new space for her pictures.  Same with grandchildren number two, three and four.  To make room, he ditched his retirement plaque.

He began to save Mass cards from his friends’ funerals.

When his parents died, within a year of each other, he added their framed wedding picture.  To make room, he gave up his last baseball trophy.

When his wife passed away, he got rid of everything but their wedding picture and her ring. Then he scraped off the sticker his father had made for him so long ago.  It was no longer legible anyway. Now he is 89 years old.  He still has the box.  The other day, he was showing it to his great granddaughter.  He opened the lid, and she peeked inside.

“It’s empty, Grandpa.”

“I know.  I’ve given everything away.  Emma, would you like to have this box?”

“Oh, Grandpa!  I’d love it!  I have so many things I want to put in it.”

 

Screen Shot 2016-07-20 at 7.01.25 PM.png

Don Tassone lives in Loveland, Ohio and teaches public relations at Xavier University in Cincinnati.  His stories have appeared in a range of literary magazines.  They’re posted at http://dontassone.com

SHADOW STAINS- by Matthew Corkins

Shadow Stains

by Matthew Corkins

Chubby tricycle girl disappeared during a dry spell.

My house didn’t have A/C: I drank Corona on the porch, watched their house. I used to see her riding on our street, never could tell how old she was, barely knew she was a girl, being obese, going around shirtless. She could’ve been showcased on tabloid talk shows.

I’d wondered if her parents knew where she went. Until they went door to door asking. Her brother donned camouflage, started keeping guard outside, pacing, banana pointed up like a handgun. He eventually wore a path in the grass.

I liked to imagine she took her tricycle, went on some great childhood journey, rode off toward the sun, as if chasing a giant, golden jawbreaker. An adventure, like in Flight of the Navigator.

❊❊❊

My ex and I no longer slept together, said because we’d sweat too much, stain the sheets with shadows.

 

0427161642_HDR-2.jpg

Matthew lives in New York City, where he works as a copy editor for The New York Observer. He studied English literature at Michigan State University, and besides writing, he is a musician and avid runner.

Poems- by Matthew Johnson

Your Stories

 

Bring me your stories, and I will be your keeper of tales.

 

From your towers damselled in distressed,

Let me scribble not theirs, but your escaped lores and fables.

 

Away from everywhere, in the midst of this empty, plastic domain,

Paint me your passionate parables impressed on your purpose

For I will stain and dye your untamed spectacles on chronicled lines.

 

Share with me those long walks in autumn,

Where the golden trees hang like mythic shadows.

Or perhaps where you dropped those last pieces of leaves

In those metropolitan cities, where language is wordless.  

 

Allow me to capture those welling tears of that unblinking martyr.

Tell me His Kingdom, as in Heaven has come. Tell me that God is dead and done.

 

For I will seek what you abandoned to hide,

And bring your double identity to light.

 

Let me linger in your abandoned howls from midsummer, from beginning to October end,

As this weary patience dangles on the fringe of explosions, without escape!

 

For in all the crumblings of the tellings and findings of what you thought you knew,

I will scratch your adventures of living proof for a world and heaven complete,

But all I ask, is that you please continue…


 

The Cat Does Not Care for Reason

 

The cat is to blame

For all shattered plates

And good vibes.

But that is alright,

I would take his good with his bad.

 

The cat wails at the new moon,

And hauls to me his winged food.

He hops on the trembling tree lines,

He flees at the sign of a lime.

 

He softly coos and fur-licks

His bobtail thick.

With nothing but instinct,

The cat decides what is done,

And that which should be finished.

 

A gentle sleeper-taker in my shoe cramp,

The cat swipes away

My finger on his tummy,

As if the index should be damned.

 

To be so callous in life,

Bringing me dead mice

In poise of high indifference,

I guess is nice,

Or disgustedly beautiful.


 

For World

 

This is for you World.

For instead of

Hollow, heartless carcass,

This is what I would

Like for you

To preserve,

From me.

 

I made best

When you looked at me.

You,

Molded in image like God,

I, molded in image of spirit tossed.

For I cried sirens of soul

On paper with pen for you,

Some you lauded, some you spurned.  


 

Just Let the Writer’s Block Happen

 

Like so many cities packed in the “Hello World,”

Of a globetrotting book bag,

There are simply too many words to unpack,

And these are thoughts of men

From swirling, untamed, but beautiful lands

That present home simply will not understand.

So I will pour out life,

As if I was a procreator,

At another time, or another day.

For I presently harness space

In lands lush of frustrate, lands of procrastinate.  


 

Upon the World’s Stage

 

Life is a Comedy.

An unconscious odyssey

Where God smiles proudly

To Geppetto’s honesty

And Mr. Wonka’s grand factory.

 

In the grandest seat,

He’s enthralled upon each coming scene

As the bells ring to an angel’s wing

On a 16×9 widescreen

As the gaffes and jokers cannot be unseen.

 

Life is a Tragedy.

Fredo and Antony break philosophy

Harmingly hurting honestly

Where God can’t help but cry immensely.

 

Written profusely on corrupted pages

The words so illegible betray

A lone audience member to ask for a translate

For the twisted vocab masquerades

A world so decadent.

A world so fake.


***

 

20151213_112747.jpg

“Your Stories” and “Upon the World’s Stage” were previously published in The Coraddi, the student-run literary magazine for the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Matthew Johnson’s poetry has appeared in The Coraddi, The Carolinian, Obsidian Magazine, The News Verse News, and The Yellow Chair Review. He also has writing set to appear and Ink in Thirds. He is pictured above in the blue hat.

Kane’s Dad- by Jim Gibson

Kane’s Dad

by Jim Gibson

Like all of us, Kane didn’t see his Dad much. So, when he came to pick him up for a day at Skegness, we were all sat on the wall to see him. We all made big statements about our dads (how they chain-smoked fags, were on the run from the police, had loads of women), somewhere deep down we must have understood how little they cared.

We smiled as he pulled up and we saw the reality. To say he wasn’t what Kane had made out was an understatement. He was a short man, losing his hair from the cranium outward. His tracksuit was worn out and a bit crusty like the skin on his face. He did drive a sports car though, we had to give him that one. It was a beat up MX5 that would rattle rather than purr. His girlfriend seemed closer to our age than his, but it wasn’t a glorious youthfulness. She looked like she’d had it hard.

He lent over the top of the car with a fag in his mouth and a harsh frown.

He nodded. ‘Ready Kane?’

‘Yeah.’ He shouted as he jumped down off of the wall, looking back at us with a grin.

‘Bring a mate if ya want to, like.’

I heard Akko exhale with a laugh. I looked around and the other lads’ faces looked as disbelieving as mine.

‘Josh, you coming?’

I hadn’t made eye contact on purpose but he’d still fucking asked me, hadn’t he. The others looked at me, eyebrows raised, relishing it.

‘Fuck it, why not?’ I slid my skateboard underneath the caravan on the garden.

In the back of the car our knees were in our chins. The drive was made longer by the two in the front gabbing on about people we didn’t know. Kane tried to join in at times, but was generally ignored. I didn’t bother trying.

At Skeg we just walked around. Looking. At the rides. Looking. At the arcades. Looking. At the peer. At crazy golf. The aquarium. Lazerquest. Looking… Kane’s dad didn’t pay for fuck all. He was just happy to walk around and canoodle with his girlfriend while we walked behind, kicking stones with our hands in our pockets.

Outside another arcade I turned to Kane. ‘Let’s lose ‘em.’

He tutted. ‘Don’t be stupid.’

‘This is shit, let’s bust a move!’

He looked over at his dad snogging his bird on the 2p machine, hand moving slowly up her skirt.

He bolted before I did.

All we needed now was a bit of money to start enjoying ourselves.

We found a spot and chucked our hats on the floor, sitting behind them. Dignity wasn’t an issue back then. Every person that walked past ignored us as we pleaded for money, coughing, spluttering. The coppers soon came and moved us on.

We sat on a wall at the edge of the beach looking out at families having a picnic. There were parents and children playing games that you’d never play anywhere else. They were kicking footballs, unsuccessfully, back and forth and laughing. We counted up the change in our pockets, there was a few quid each. As I stood up I coughed up a great greeny and spat it on the beach. One of the mothers tutted and shook her head. I looked her deep in the eye as we walked back off towards town.

We decided to go and see if the pub would serve us a pint. The barman just laughed when we asked. We walked into the large seaside smoking area and mine-swept a few dregs of pints in the heat. There were still some bottles lying over to one side but Kane didn’t look comfortable.

‘Fuck this, let’s get off.’

I shrugged. ‘Alright.’

Down the street Kane stopped and took me into one of those brick bus stops.

‘Some bald man was turned around chatting up the barmaid. I swiped this.’ He pulled a thick, black leather wallet out.

‘You sly bastard!’ I shouted in my tipsy state. ‘Crack her open then.’

We had to try and keep our excitement down to a minimum but we couldn’t help the yelps when we saw all of the 20s racked up in there. We took all of the money out, split it 50/50 – £240 each – and threw the wallet in the bin.

The rest of the day was a dream.

We licked four scoop ice creams with our feet in the water before nearly vomiting on every ride at Pleasure Beach. We annihilated a kid’s birthday party at lazerquest, diving, rolling, popping head shots before taking a hostage and being kicked out by the steward, the mother in tears shouting abuse behind him. We laughed about all of their faces as we saw how fast we could hit our golf ball around the loop-the-loop on the crazy golf course. The man at the donkeys said we were too old, but we stuck him an extra twenty and he let us on. We realised quickly how dull it was yet it was still fuck loads better than being with Kane’s dad.

We walked back down the beach front as it was starting to get dark. A horn blared out and we shot around quickly with our second ice cream cones in our hands. It was Kane’s dad.

‘You little cunts think you’re clever, ay? Let’s see how you like being fucking left here then!’ He laughed and his wheels screeched slightly as the car rattled off.

We shrugged, went to a taxi rank, paid up front and got home in far more comfort than we’d got there in.

The next day Akko and Matt came round for me. They asked me how Kane’s dad was. I said he was alright.

 

IMG_0732.JPG

Jim Gibson grew up in the feral plains of England in an ex-coal mining village, Newstead, where the lack of employment was overshadowed by the grand home of the poet Lord Byron. This juxtaposition could have been the trigger that started him on his literary path. He is currently the fiction editor for Hand Job Magazine, where he tries to encourage the lesser voiced truths of our society.